Sunday, 26 May 2013

A Letter Of Hate: To The Woman Who Broke My House

The path to recovery is through acknowledgement, acceptance and forgiveness.
Through this letter, I try to acknowledge and accept my true feelings of hate towards the woman who wrecked my home, broke it. I know pain and I also know that hatred serves no purpose and therefore the forgiveness part.

Dear SIL,

I do not know what I should call you. A home breaker, a home wrecker, manipulative bitch, nasty, dominant and overpowering weed, a possessive sibling or a pervert sucker? Maybe all of them suit you just fine.

I thought you were naive when I let you dominate my husband. I thought you did not see the very clear marked lines between concern and interference, but I did not know that it was your intention to cross the line just so that you could wreck my life. You always hated me but I never believed you were evil enough to turn your hate into misery for me. I believed you would never do it because I thought you were genuinely concerned for your brother. But now when I see the pain that we are both having to go through and you continue and move on with your happy life in paradise, I realize you are nothing more than a selfish sadist taking pleasure in the miseries of others lives. You do not just wish for their misery, you go out there and ensure its heaped onto them. On people who love you and care for you and trust you and are protective of you. On people who pray for your well-being more than they pray for their own. Let me tell you today, that you ought to be ashamed of yourself and the things you have done. Plotting, bitching, putting others down might serve you your purpose of breaking ones home but have you ever given a thought on how it destroys another's life? Does not the trials of a person who's dreams you shattered not haunt you in the night? Can you imagine how you might feel if the same happened to you? What all would you cope with? A broken home, shattered dreams or the betrayal from someone you counted? Someone your blood and flesh.

I have heard you can only give others what you have, I therefore pray to God that you are blessed with loads of happiness and joy. So much excess of happiness that you have no choice but to give it away. You have blown my world, shattered it to pieces, broken my house. I know the pain I have had to endure and therefore genuinely wish nobody else including you goes through this pain. I wish you well. Good luck.
I sincerely hope that God showers you with goodness and you never even think of wrecking another's life.

The Strong One


  1. You poor thing. Having been through such a marriage myself, where the man's mother was the culprit, I can empathize with you. You must speak to your husband immediately and cut down the presence and interference of your SIL in your lives. Speak to him about how badly it affects you and the marriage. If he understands and acts, great. Keep her at bay, continue to be courteous to her, and build your life together as a couple. If he doesn't get it and the status quo continues, remember that you have the option to leave. Nothing will happen unless you stand up, ruffle some feathers, and act sooner than later. Don't wait.

  2. Hi Ash,

    Read your post "Blank pages". It was just what I needed. A powerful message in a simple story. Congrats to you!!!
    Sorry to hear about all that you had to go through but its heartening to know that you are in a much better place today. Well with me fortunately or unfortunately my H walked out on me thanks to her suggestions. All efforts to make him see the big picture has been in vain has only resulted in him handing me a divorce notice. But the one thing I am proud of is that I stood up for myself, I may have been late in doing it but I did. I feel better now that I have this second chance.


  3. Hi. I dont even know if u read the replies now since its been a year. However i could not stop myself from commenting. Your post has struck a raw nerve as i am going through a similar situation in which mil & sils are both involved. This post brought tears to my eyes. I just hope tht u hve found peace & happiness now, which u so much deserve. A very unhappy & confused wife.

  4. My heart goes out to you. I have been there and I know how it feels. Had not realized its more than a year already. I can only tell you one thing - with time the confusion does get better. The pain gets better too, today I wonder how I could even bear it all. I just hope and pray that things turn better very soon for you. Hugs to u.. Hang in there..Just concentrate on keeping yourself occupied..Keep in touch..There are always people who care more about you than you know..